Excess in Moderation

Props to Doug Stanhope

'I'll leave you with a few keys to good livin.
The key to a good life: Excess in Moderation.
They'll tell you that moderation is the key to life but that's bullshit. Excess in Moderation.
Don't drink a few beers everyday after work. Wait 'til the end of the month and drink all the beers at once. Get completely soused.
Don't get a $20 crackwhore on a whim. Save up and then get the $1,500 Heidi Fleiss high class call girl on new years eve and wake up with a damn good story.
Don't eat the stem of the mushroom and see a few colors. Eat the whole bag and see god. Just don't do it everyday. If you practice in moderation you'll never get the full effect.
And don't ever learn from other peoples mistakes. That's the worst advice you could get. Cause other people might have fucked it up, and you could be the one guy who can do it right, and be a hero for all of us.

12:59 A.M. - Restate My Assumptions

Here is verbatim a sheet of paper I found dated Oct. 14, 2007. 12:59 A.M.

12:59 A.M. - Restate My Assumptions
-Given: All sports previously played in high school including some form of racing. *(see note)

-Given: I am invincible from a racing death. All of my accidents involving elements of high momentum have not killed me. **(see note)

-Be it resolved, I like Racing.

*note: Cross Country, Track, and Cross Country Skiing. These all involved racing against people and simultaneously time.
**note: I've spun out racing pro-kart when I decided to full throttle a turn. I've rolled an SUV driving safely @60mph down a highway. I've slid across ice to hit my B-pillar in an SRT-4, and while biking to class safely down a street I've been sideswiped by a car.

P.S. I also like understanding how things work and reading and all things medical related.

Tonight's ruminations

So, here I leave you with this rumination.

- You know the saying that if a girl sees another girl wearing the same outfit they will hate each other to death. Meanwhile, a guy may see another guy in the same outfit and they will become best friends for life.

Well, I think that the saying reflects the major strife in relationships; A girl is looking for someone opposite her, and a guy is looking for a girl the same as he is. Thus the difficulty in finding someone that you will get along with.

Right down to the basic level: a girly girl wants a rough guy, and a dominating woman is looking for her teddy.
Meanwhile, a rough guy is looking for a girl who gets off doing X-treme sports while a library nerd wants a girl to play Pokemon with him.
Or maybe, for every yin there is a yang and I have yet again over analyzed this shit.

comments?

Kremer is Hard for Hard Cider

So if you've read the first part of this ongoing cider series you may have noticed that I wanted to raise the alcohol to around 18% alc. by weight. My first attempt by adding sugar I calculated wrong and it the alc. only rose to about 8%, up from 6.5%.

There still is time left; so here is what I need to do to bring up the sugar content.

Above: Brown sugar. How come you taste so good.

1. I now have 20.25 quarts of cider that had a starting specific gravity (SG) of 1.074
2. My SG needs to be up around 1.1614 if I want 18% Alcohol by weight.
3. I need to keep the total volume under 6 gallons, for that is the size of my glass carboy.
4. The current volume is 20.25/4= 5 1/16th gallons.
5. So I have 15/16th of a gallon (3.75 quarts) space for brown sugar water to boost the gravity up to 1.1614.
   

If my California math is correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious shit.

(20.25*1.074)+(3.75*[sugar water gravity]) = 24*1.1614
This means that my sugar water gravity needs to be 1.63336

Here's how we make the brown sugar water gravity 1.63336

• I know the specific gravity of water is 1.000
• I know that when I added two cups brown sugar to 1 quart, the final volume was 1.15 quarts. So I will assume one cup brown sugar raises the water level 0.075 quarts.
• I know that the gravity of the light brown sugar water from my previous experiment was 1.12869.
• This means that liquid brown sugar has a gravity of (1.000*1)+(0.15*[gravity of liquid brown sugar]) = 1.15*1.12869
• The gravity of liquid brown sugar is 1.98662
  

I need to solve this equation then, where X = amount of water and Y = liquid brown sugar.
X*1.000 + Y*1.98662 = (X+Y)*1.63336
and I know I can only have 3.75 quarts, so X+Y= 3.75
and then Y = 3.75 - X
Then my equation is:
X + (3.75 - X)*1.98662 = 3.75*1.63336
X + 7.449825 - 1.98662X = 6.1251
-0.98662X = -1.324725

X = 1.342690 quarts water
Y = 2.4073098 quarts liquid brown sugar

If 0.075 Quarts liquid brown sugar comes from 1 cup brown sugar, then I need:
2.4073098/0.075 = 32.097 cups brown sugar. [appx. 32/2.25 = 14 pounds of sugar!]

Umm.. WTF. 14 pounds of sugar? I'm going to need to find what I can scrape up around the house or go to the grocery store/Costco. Maybe I'll just throw in the towel...
No. Goonies never say die.
I'll be back with an update.

An open letter to Tonk re: Hard Cider

Tonk you asked me a question to which my facebook reply was too lengthy to be allowed. So here I am posting it here for peer review.

edit: This is a winded and round about way to answer your question about how much brown sugar you need to add to boost your cider's alcohol percent

Hard Cider experiment
Goal: to make 18% Alcohol (by weight) hard cider to use in making Apple Jack.

-Prelude
I did an experiment which I thought was scientific and reliable; but it is neither:

I had exactly 2 quarts (1/2 gallon) of cider juiced from apples in my backyard with a specific gravity of 1.052

1. I took 1 quart (1/4 gallon) of water and boiled it with 2 cups light brown sugar. [1 quart water plus 2 cups light brown sugar resulted in about 1.15 quarts. The jug that contains the apple juice holds 3 liters which is 3.17 quarts. This jug was near full after combining the sugar water and cider, which means that 3.17-0.02 quarts remaining space-2 quarts cider leaves 1.15 quarts sugar water.]
2. I then combined the apple juice and sugar water and let the mixture cool back down to room temperature
   
3. The measured the gravity was 1.080.
   

So I assumed that for every 1 quart water boiled with 2 cups brown sugar raised the gravity by 0.028.

• I didn't put much thought into this assumption although I based the remainder of my experiment on it.
• [Update] What I now believe is that I should have measured the specific gravity of the sugar water before combining it with the apple juice.
• Had I measured the sugar water's gravity before combining it with the cider I believe it would have been 1.129
• Working backwards, if 2 quarts of 1.052 + 1.15 quart of X specific gravity brown sugar water = 3.15 quarts of 1.080 specific gravity, then (1.052*2)+(1.15*X) = (3.15*1.080) then the specific gravity of the light brown sugar water would have been X = 1.12869.
  

What is your opinion?

The Main Experiment
I wanted to make another cider 18% Alcohol by weight. I knew it had been fermenting for a day and a half so measuring it's gravity was worthless at that point, but I knew that the initial specific gravity was 1.060.

-side note: I don't care if I am unable to ascertain the final % alc. anyways, since I will be ice distilling the cider into apple jack; As long as the liquor doesn't freeze in a freezer it's good, or perhaps I am able to proof it] I also knew that the yeast had an alcohol tolerance of 18%, thus my goal.

Assumptions:

• I have 4 gallons of cider
• It had a starting specific gravity of 1.060
• I am assuming that this cider ferments to a final gravity around 0.990. I have done two previous ciders which fermented down to 0.992 and 0.990 respectively. Although this time I am using a different type of yeast, Lalvin EC 1118, I predict it will ferment similarly.
• The alcohol tolerance of this yeast strain is 18%.
  
• The calculation for % alcohol by weight is 105*(starting gravity-final gravity) = % alcohol by weight.
• My Goal would be to add sugar so that 18=105*(Starting Gravity-0.990) - Thus my starting gravity should be around 18/105+0.990=1.1614
• And I need to raise the gravity by 1.1614-1.060=0.1014
  
• And for every 1 quarts water plus 2 cups light brown sugar, the gravity increases by 0.028. [Wrong]
• Therefore I need to add 0.1014/0.028= 3.62*(2 cups light sugar and 1 quart water)
• Because it's easier to measure, I boiled together and added 3 2/3rds quarts and 7 1/3 cups light brown sugar
  
  

Results:
As yet to be determined but the air lock is indicating a healthy fermentation bubbling a couple bubbles every second.

Upon Further Review:
Like I previously stated, I believe some of my methodology was wrong. Estimates using my updated hypothesis are as follows:

• 4 gallons of cider*4 quarts a gallon = 16 quarts of cider at 1.060 starting specific gravity.
• The ratio of water to brown sugar mixture did not change, so it's gravity should be the same as well: 1.12869.
  
• Therefore, (16*1.060)+((1.15*3.66)*1.12869) = (16+(1.15*3.66))*[Starting Gravity]
  
• Thus, what I actually created was a starting specific gravity of 1.074
  

Side notes:

From rough estimations I found that 2.25 cups sugar is roughly 1 pound. I've also noticed that recipes call for upwards of 5#'s sugar for 5 gallons sugar. with 7 and 1/3rd cups of sugar, I added approximately 3 and a 1/4 pounds sugar for 4 gallons cider (also, I have a hunch that it's over 4 gallons of starting apple cider when I include a few 12 oz. concentrates I threw in there.)

This means that I just brought my cider up to about 105*(1.074-0.990)= 8.82% Alc. by weight, or /0.79 = 11.16 % Alc. by volume. Not bad when you consider your average beer is 5% Alc. by vol. but this is upsetting if you're trying to make a liquor.

TL:DR version
I tried to make my cider more alcoholic by adding sugar. It turned out not as alcoholic than I had hoped but there is still some time left to add more sugar. Should I add more sugar?

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I like lists. They help me get organized. Sometimes I'll find 3 lists laying around: usually one is in my pocket, one is on my desk and somewhere there is a post-it note laying around somewhere. They will each have the majority of things crossed out but whats remaining will all be combined into one new list and the old lists get tossed. My father tells me that I am far too task oriented, and that I need to be more objective oriented. Well, now when I make lists instead of writing To-do at the top, I right objectives, then make sub-tasks to each objective.

2. I spend a lot of time thinking about my existence. When you've had as many near-death experiences as I have, you tend to gain a sense of immortality. Perhaps I should carry a sword in case I run into any Highlanders. Besides that, I read about how someone died in the newspaper nearly everyday. Did you know that there are 6 billion people living in this world? think about it. That's 999.9 million x6 (plus a few). If I die, maybe a hundred people will notice. Anyways, I guess I need to do something important with my life, which leads to #3.

3. I spend a lot of time thinking about what the hell I should do. Okay, I know a lot of you do this, so this shouldn't be any surprise. I'm in the middle of finding a new job after graduating college, so this is more prevalent to me. In regards to #2, I want to do something with my life that will immortalize me. Find a cure for cancer. Be a great leader. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien lifeform... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."

4. I brew my own beer. Okay, so that's something that most of you probably do know about me. Whether you do or don't, this is an open invitation to come brew some beer with me. I'll put you to work in the spice mines of Kessel in order to find that delicious flavor I've been looking for.

5. Contrary to what the psychiatrist told me, I have attention problems. Point in case: I forgot I was doing this list. I started messing around with iTunes, then I'm reading some news story online, then I came back here to see this #5. staring me blankly in the face. oops. Yeah if I don't finish reading a book in two or three days, it'll sit on a table with a bookmark in it forever. Same thing for all the things I intend to do. So, with that in mind, I am going to finish this off.

6. I read a lot in my spare time. I wish I was cool and could say that I read three different newspapers daily but in reality it's really just the headlines that come across on Google News which I like to believe tells me the gist of what's happening in the world. A lot of time I read stuff my ADD kicks in and I will not remember all that I've read, I only hope that perhaps if I went schizo my alternate personality would remember what I've read but forgotten. Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm? ... I also read comic books. From things like Penny Arcade! to Achewood and the occasional Perry Bible Fellowship. When I don't feel like reading, I enjoy audio books. Not just books on tape, I've also picked up audio lectures on everything from the History of Mesopotamia to The History of the World. And like anybody, one day I hope to read all the books I've amassed.

7. My friends mean more to me then my family. My parents divorced when I was in second grade, so I spent more time with babysitters and friends than my parents since both of them were always working. When your parents separate, instead of splitting 'teaching a child about life' it becomes 'becoming the more favored of the child'. So you can tell me how at Christmas you got double the presents and how vacations were more frequent. In reality, I sort of created my own family of friends whom I learn life by and when I make a friend it usually is for life.

Body Massage Machine. Go!

First, there was the bet. $20 dollars between a friend and me over who could be the first to have six-pack abs. Then I started Physical Therapy to recover from my car accident. Hah, car accident, sounds like a minor fender bender. It was more like a car Hindenburg or car Titanic, or even better, a car Hindentanic Pompeii.

Anyways, in an effort to win a bet, I have been running a lot for the past few months. And what do I get for this effort? Nothing. I stay the same weight, albeit my arms are slightly stronger from physical therapy. I know what you probably are thinking; "but nick, when you go out drinking 4 nights out of the week that's going to be detrimental to your regime." Bollocks to that!

So I pulled out my old heart rate monitor watch. You see, when you exercise at different intervals you get different results. If you do a sprint workout, you're going to build a lot of muscle, run long distance will strengthen your heart, aka cardio, and apparently, not burn fat that fast. So I pop my HR monitor band around my chest and watch onto my wrist and take it for a spin. Apparently in order to stay in my target heart rate zone to get in shape, I need to walk! fucking ass cock sucking motherfucker. These last few months all I have been doing is keeping my heart in shape and building muscle, but not burning the beer gut off. Well, now I am aware of this and things are going to be changing.

PS, if you'd like to come run with me around lake calhoun sometime or something, lemme know.

July Awesomeness!!!!!

I was sitting here reminiscing about how amazing July was and I'd like to thank all my friends who were a part of it. In chronological order, as opposed to awesomeness, I'd like to list some of the things I did.

7/6 Party at Paris' place. Some drinking games with a deck of cards, a keg, and the ability to see Paris for the first time in ages. Later I stopped by Tonk's place and then met up [again] with Hallie and her roommate Brittany. Drinking ensued.

7/14 Pirate Party. Karen Stotts brainchild. It all began a while back when Karen bought a toy pirates of the carribean sword at target. Months later we are wearing our eyepatches, tricorn hats and bandannas to drink domestic beer in amazing weather.

7/16 Chris Cornell concert. Hallie's bro Charlie working with the Hennepin theater district organized the Chris Cornell concert which was amazing. He played songs from Soundgarden, Audioslave and a few songs from his solo career. Spoonman, Black Hole Sun, Doesn't Remind Me, Cochise and the Bond Theme to Casino Royale.

7/21 Sneaky Pete's. This time I brought some friends to prove to them how cool the bar was. The night was not a disappointment. The power went out for a brief period, and when it came back all the patrons were awarded free drinks and t-shirts were passed out. This is just some of the cool stuff that could happen at a bar with smokin' waitresses and stripper poles on the dance floor.

7/22-24 Uncle Roger's cabin. Up on Little Toad Lake, in Frazee, MN (near Detroit Lakes) is my fishing hole. I caught a lot of sunfish, but I had no luck with my spinners. This was a great chance to relax and fish.

7/25 The last G8 show. My first time at Big V's in St. Paul. As usual G8 put on a great show, I have put pictures from the show up on my website Right Here

7/27 Ian's Birthday party. Not much to say. A lot of drinking ensued, and a few of us partied until sunrise.

7/28 Anna's 80's themed Bday party. This time I got to wear my jean jacket with a japanese headband to a themed party at the Doubletree. More fun ensued. Interestingly, two of my friends, Anna and Ian have the same birthdate.

7/31-8/4 I leave to camp at the Land. The notorious, the infamous, the Land. You ought to sign a waiver for medical expenses because with a week of drinking someones going to get hurt. Last year I was in the serious accident when I rolled my Isuzu Trooper. I left for the land right after receiving my corisone shot to fix my arm from that accident. This year Sam put a pretty big gouge into his chin. Aside from the accidents, this is the best camping trip ever, with swimming and laying at the beach all day, cliff jumping, bocce, scrabble, and a game called caseball.

Anyways, all these events made for an amazing month that sort of signify the end of my college days and start of my career.

Kremer FTK. [for the kill]

Won a game of darts today. It was the first time I can recall beating a few friends at the game in a long while. I attribute it to skill, but my friends believe it is was luck. My ability to put a dart in their neck is out of place and unsportsmanlike, but I enjoy playing the competition.

Right now I am hoping to find a pair of socks. There is nothing better than a fresh pair. I could buy more socks but why? [fresh socks are a beast]. I may have run someone over, but upon review, I just took first place in wii sports; I just wish the winner got new cotton socks.

Fifel Goes West

Today I am going commando. When I went into my underwear drawer to grab a new pair of fresh undies my hand felt something. I wasn't wearing glasses so I quickly toss them on to see a mouse sitting in my underwear drawer. The mouse quickly ran away and now I need to find it.

But Wait! There's MORE! Four tiny little baby mice, not older than a day, sat there on the pair of underwear I was about to wear. Well, I threw them into the garbage along with my underwear, and commenced taking a looong, hot shower - like Ace Ventura. There's still the momma mouse somewhere, she escaped and I'm going to set traps now. Then to JC Penney's for some new underwear.

I think it's time to find a new place to live.

'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder

My birthday celebration was amazing. Thanks everybody for coming out. We went to William's Peanut Bar, watched Carlos Silva pitch a complete game no hitter, as well as played a couple games of 301 darts and some 8-ball pool.
After that we went to Pizza Luce for Triviasco hosted by public access star Ian Rans. That was cool, even though we basically caught the last question: What country has the website extension .DE {and Jess, Deutchland is the correct answer, thanks for sharing our answer with the entire bar, although I think it's formally called Germany these days.) Anyways, we should get a group down there sometime and compete to win a $50 bar tab. Group registration starts at 10p.m. and trivia starts at 10:30.
Finally we went to Sneaky Pete's, a new bar off of the light rail line downtown in the warehouse district. This place was crazy. I can't say some of the things I saw because I don't really believe it myself and I don't want to turn this blog into an X-rated story. It was along the lines of the Spice Girls showing up and having sex with everybody, even the kid in the Babylon 5 t-shirt.
Tonight I have advance screening passes to see the Fantastic Four movie, Rise of the Silver Surfer. I am a little let down on the advance-ness, the movie opens nationwide tonight at 12:01 a.m. compared to the 7:30 showing I get to see. I suppose I do get to see the movie for free though, which is cool. Expect me to be on the forums tonight ranting about the movie to all the nerds before anyone else. Okay, maybe I won't rant in any forums about the movie, maybe I'll put up an away message detailing what Galactus, Devourer of Worlds looks like. check ya all later!

Let's pretend you're Marilyn Monroe and I'm JFK

Sweet, today is my birthday. That means that I have cheated death for approx. 8,760 days. I say approx. because I'm sure leap years throw it off by a few days and who knows +/- how many hours.

I guess I'll post it here instead of telling everybody personally, but tonight we are going out to Williams Peanut Bar in uptown. It'll be around 8, right after I go out for dinner with my mom. Anyone is welcome and everyone should come. From there I suppose we could travel around uptown, I'm open to suggestions.

First Post

Hey everyone. Welcome to my blog I guess. If you're reading this that means you are willing to listen to me, so I command you to have a beer, relax and enjoy the rest of the day. Maybe you could message me and we could shoot the shit.