Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Death, Love, and the Minnesota Twins

Reading my blog about the Twins trading Santana to the Met's I've rethought a couple things.
First, I need to realize that the lord does everything for a reason.
Second, I've realized a conspiracy theory regarding the twins.
The theory goes like this:
The twins trade away Torii Hunter and Johan Santana and save the Million$ of dollars they'd spend on contracts for them. The twins then proceed to take last place in the league in the 2008 season. Spend 2009 as a rebuilding year ( Yeah yeah, everybody knows that "every year is a rebuilding year, unless you're winning") including taking our especially good first round draft picks and developing them around Liriano and Co.

Then comes 2010 season. The Twins have millions of dollars saved from not paying Hunter/Santana and can spend it on anyone they want. They also have a new stadium. Everyone wants to christen their new old lady in the right way, what better way then with the division? am I right?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Kids with guns

And I never liked your type of music
In fact, I sold all your CDs out the back of your car
Just to prove it
And I spent the money- HAHA!
Seriously- on all that whiskey!
And that time that I puked up on the doorstep,
And you told me I was a monster!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Minnesota Twins = Fast Food

"In case you hadn't noticed this, Santana is merely the best pitcher in the whole solar system. He's a franchise-changer, a season-changer, a league-changer. Since 2003, the year he moved into the rotation, the Twins went 105-47 (.691) when he started, and only 335-323 (.509) when anybody else started. In other words, they played like a 112-win team when Santana pitched -- and like an 82-win team when anyone else pitched."

-Just so you know.
And who do the Twins pick up? NO, not some name-brand stars from Boston or NY, they pick up 4 potential rookies.
Here's how it goes, the Twins have undeniably the best farm system in the MLB, and what do they use it for?
To be a barely above .500 team that's what. They use it to be successful enough to make money. never to win a pennant.

But Kremer, I wish to lose fat naturally too!
You can! all you need to have are young players found by good scouts, a good training program, and someone who can teach young atheletes how to avoid being tested for steroids. Knoblauch did
and you can make $$$ too!

/rant. I'm sorry, but for anyone who knows the Twins, anybody who knows Minnesotan teams (/randy moss, /kevin garnett). We are excellent at finding talent, and at trading it away for mediocrity. It's what we did with KG ( the wolves are 9-36 after trading him), The Vikings missed the playoffs again while the superstar player we had is in contention for a ring. (P.S. I'm taking bets how soon we trade AP) and now the Twins trade Santana. (I'm also taking bets on the Mets winning the pennant in the next 4 years)

Hopefully This gamble pays off and we see Franky Liriano facing grandma Johan for the pennant in game seven at the Twins new ballpark.
Until then, my rants will continue to make much more sense in my head.

Thank god for the Wild by the way!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Excess in Moderation

Props to Doug Stanhope

'I'll leave you with a few keys to good livin.
The key to a good life: Excess in Moderation.
They'll tell you that moderation is the key to life but that's bullshit. Excess in Moderation.
Don't drink a few beers everyday after work. Wait 'til the end of the month and drink all the beers at once. Get completely soused.
Don't get a $20 crackwhore on a whim. Save up and then get the $1,500 Heidi Fleiss high class call girl on new years eve and wake up with a damn good story.
Don't eat the stem of the mushroom and see a few colors. Eat the whole bag and see god. Just don't do it everyday. If you practice in moderation you'll never get the full effect.
And don't ever learn from other peoples mistakes. That's the worst advice you could get. Cause other people might have fucked it up, and you could be the one guy who can do it right, and be a hero for all of us.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

12:59 A.M. - Restate My Assumptions

Here is verbatim a sheet of paper I found dated Oct. 14, 2007. 12:59 A.M.

12:59 A.M. - Restate My Assumptions
-Given: All sports previously played in high school including some form of racing. *(see note)

-Given: I am invincible from a racing death. All of my accidents involving elements of high momentum have not killed me. **(see note)

-Be it resolved, I like Racing.

*note: Cross Country, Track, and Cross Country Skiing. These all involved racing against people and simultaneously time.
**note: I've spun out racing pro-kart when I decided to full throttle a turn. I've rolled an SUV driving safely @60mph down a highway. I've slid across ice to hit my B-pillar in an SRT-4, and while biking to class safely down a street I've been sideswiped by a car.

P.S. I also like understanding how things work and reading and all things medical related.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Tonight's ruminations

So, here I leave you with this rumination.

- You know the saying that if a girl sees another girl wearing the same outfit they will hate each other to death. Meanwhile, a guy may see another guy in the same outfit and they will become best friends for life.

Well, I think that the saying reflects the major strife in relationships; A girl is looking for someone opposite her, and a guy is looking for a girl the same as he is. Thus the difficulty in finding someone that you will get along with.

Right down to the basic level: a girly girl wants a rough guy, and a dominating woman is looking for her teddy.
Meanwhile, a rough guy is looking for a girl who gets off doing X-treme sports while a library nerd wants a girl to play Pokemon with him.
Or maybe, for every yin there is a yang and I have yet again over analyzed this shit.

comments?